A Story from the Heart: A Difficult Day at the Restaurant

Let me share a personal story that you might relate to. I remember sitting in a restaurant with my loved one who had dementia. We were enjoying a nice meal when suddenly I noticed that familiar smell… their bowels had moved while we were sitting there eating.  I felt the heat of embarrassment rising up my neck. I glanced around, hoping no one else had noticed. But I couldn’t just sit there. I had to act quickly and calmly.

Getting them up and to the restroom wasn’t easy, especially with them not fully understanding what was happening. Once we made it there, the cleanup began. It was messy and stressful. I was fumbling through my bag for wipes and a new diaper, all while trying to comfort them, who was confused and upset. After what felt like forever, I managed to get them cleaned up and back to the table. But by then, I was frazzled, and the meal had lost its charm.

What I learned from that experience is the importance of being prepared and keeping a level head. I started carrying a “care kit” everywhere – wipes, gloves, extra clothes, and even disposable bags for soiled items.  And more importantly, I learned that even though these situations are embarrassing, they’re just part of the journey. We can’t always prevent these moments, but we can prepare for them and do our best to handle them with kindness and patience.

Dementia Poop Basics

The bowels slow down with aging and decreased mobility, causing the waste to move slower. This slowing leads to increased difficulty moving the bowels. Moving the bowels infrequently (less than three times a week) or difficulty passing stool is known as constipation.

Constipation can be painful with abdominal fullness, gas, and cramping and may lead to a bowel obstruction. Bowel obstruction can be severe and lead to a medical emergency. For people in the later stages of the disease, constipation and discomfort can lead to agitation. Unfortunately, they don’t know what’s happening or how to tell the caregiver they are hurting. It is so important for caregivers to track their loved ones’ bowels.

Check out my Understanding Dementia course to learn more about how the stages of dementia can affect bodily functions like bowel movements.

Diarrhea

Diarrhea is a nightmare for any caregiver, especially when your loved one is incontinent. Diarrhea is frequent, loose, watery stools, and if your loved one is still mobile, cleanup becomes even more challenging.

If your loved one has diarrhea, it’s important to look for possible causes, such as medications, food, bacteria, or even artificial sweeteners. If diarrhea lasts for more than a few days, dehydration becomes a serious concern. Dehydration can lead to delirium, which is a severe condition. Contact your doctor if any of the following occur:

• Diarrhea lasts longer than two days
• Your loved one becomes dehydrated
• They have severe abdominal or rectal pain
• Their stools are bloody or black
• They develop a fever above 102°F

Learn more about dehydration HERE.

If a hospital visit becomes necessary due to dehydration, infection, or sudden decline, this guide explains what to expect during a dementia hospital stay and how to prepare.

Incontinence

Incontinence can happen when your loved one no longer recognizes the urge to go to the bathroom. They may not even be aware that their bowels have moved. Recognizing their cues early on can help—some people get restless, pull at their clothing, or turn red in the face.

Once accidents start happening, it’s time to use incontinence products. There are many different types available—pads, briefs, washable underwear, bed protectors, and even chair liners. Finding the right product for your loved one can make daily life easier and help preserve their dignity. Some caregivers find that using a combination (like pads for daytime and briefs for night) works best.

Learning the signs and responding quickly can sometimes help prevent accidents. Keeping extra clothing and supplies nearby can also reduce stress when accidents happen.

👉 You can learn more about why incontinence happens in dementia, along with practical caregiver tips, in my article Alzheimer’s & Bowel Incontinence: Why It Happens and What Caregivers Can Do.

👉 For a list of different products that can make this part of caregiving a little easier, visit the Incontinence Products Page.

Too Many Steps?

As dementia progresses, everyday tasks become more complex for your loved one. In the middle stage, the steps involved in using the bathroom become difficult or even impossible to coordinate.

1. Find the bathroom
2. Recognize the toilet
3. Pull down pants,
4. Sit on toilet
5. Poop
6. Wipe
7. Pull up pants
8. Flush the toilet
9. Wash hands

For someone with dementia, that is a lot of steps to remember!

So, if you are having problems in these areas, try to figure out which step is causing the issue and adjust your assistance accordingly.

Where Is The Bathroom?

Toileting problems can occur at any of these steps and usually do. For example, problems finding the bathroom may result in finding messes in the wrong room. However, making sure the bathroom is easy to find, closing all other doors, and adding locks may help.

If the problem is at night, ensure the bathroom is well-lit, and the rest of the hallway is dark.

They may fail to recognize the toilet. Many caregivers have found that their loved one used a small round garbage can instead of the toilet, even when it is right next to the toilet. Leaving the toilet lid open, using a different-colored toilet seat, and removing the garbage may help stop this issue.

Dementia Poop “Oh My It’s Everywhere”!

Sometimes, things can get even more complicated. Your loved one might remove their pull-up or diaper and poop on the floor. The situation can escalate if they then touch the poop, not realizing what’s happened. Many caregivers have shared stories about finding poop smeared everywhere.

In these cases, your loved one may have felt discomfort in that area and explored it with their hands, not understanding what was happening. To prepare, keep a manicure kit handy for cleaning under fingernails, and remember that soaking hands in warm, soapy water can help get rid of the mess. You can find them HERE.

Managing these types of issues requires creativity and patience. To prevent your loved one from accessing their pull-ups or diapers, you may want to consider using clothing that restricts access to that area, such as adult onesies worn backward.

Understanding the different over-the-counter bowel Medications 

When bowel issues begin, caregivers often want to help but may not know where to start. Understanding the types of bowel medications can help you choose the right one for your loved one. Here’s a quick guide:

• Fiber:

  Adds bulk to the stool by absorbing water, but remember to push fluids to prevent blockages. Examples include Citrucel and Metamucil.

• Stool Softeners:

  Draw water into the intestines to soften the stool. Colace is a typical example.

• Stimulants:

  Encourage the intestines to contract and move the bowels. Dulcolax and Sennokot are common choices.

• Osmotics:

  Draw water into the large intestine, softening the stool. They may cause cramping, diarrhea, or nausea. Examples include Milk of Magnesia and Magnesium Citrate. Many contain Magnesia; it is essential to check with the doctor first if your loved one has heart or kidney failure.

• Suppositories:

  These are inserted into the rectum to stimulate bowel movements, often by softening the stool. Glycerin and bisacodyl (Dulcolax) are typical choices.

• Enemas:

  Inject fluid directly into the rectum to soften the stool and prompt bowel movements.

Establishing a bowel plan with your doctor’s guidance can help prevent constipation before it becomes a bigger issue.

Why You Need to Track the Bowels

As a caregiver, tracking your loved one’s bowel movements is an essential part of their overall health and well-being. Bowel problems are common in those with dementia, especially as the disease progresses. Tracking the bowels is not just about noticing changes in stool consistency, but also about identifying patterns that might point to bigger health issues, such as constipation, diarrhea, or incontinence.

In the later stages of dementia, your loved one might not be able to communicate that they are having discomfort or pain. The inability to express themselves means that caregivers need to be extra vigilant in noticing signs of discomfort, agitation, or changes in behavior, all of which could be linked to bowel issues.

Here’s why tracking is so crucial:

• Constipation can lead to serious health issues like bowel obstructions, which can cause pain, discomfort, and even emergency situations. Recognizing early signs of constipation (less frequent bowel movements, straining, abdominal discomfort) can help prevent these complications.
• Diarrhea can lead to dehydration, which in turn can cause confusion, delirium, and other health problems. Tracking diarrhea and monitoring for any persistent symptoms is key in managing these risks.
• Incontinence is another challenging symptom, and by tracking it, you can intervene more quickly when it happens. Understanding the frequency and patterns can help you develop a more proactive toileting schedule and reduce accidents.

By consistently tracking your loved one’s bowel habits, you’ll be able to identify potential issues before they escalate, preventing unnecessary discomfort and minimizing the risk of medical emergencies.

If a hospital visit becomes necessary due to dehydration, infection, or sudden decline, this guide explains what to expect during a dementia hospital stay and how to prepare.

How ALZlog Helps You Track Bowel Changes With Less Stress

Caring for someone with dementia means you’re watching for things most people never think twice about — and bowel changes are a big one. Constipation, diarrhea, and incontinence can sneak up fast, especially when your loved one can’t explain what’s wrong.

That’s where ALZlog: The Caregiver’s Notebook really shines. It takes the guesswork out of tracking bowel habits and helps you spot problems early.

Here’s what ALZlog makes easier:

✔ Log bowel movements quickly
You can track how often your loved one goes, what the stool looks like, and any issues that pop up — like straining, skipped days, or sudden loose stools. These notes are easy to share with the doctor when something feels off.

✔ See patterns over time
ALZlog organizes your entries so you can spot trends, like constipation after a medication change or diarrhea after certain foods. Patterns tell you why things are happening, not just that they are.

✔ Track related symptoms in one place
Bowel issues rarely happen alone. Appetite changes, not drinking enough, new meds, or infections can all play a role. ALZlog lets you capture these pieces so you can see the full picture.

✔ Give doctors better information
When you walk into an appointment with clear notes instead of trying to remember everything, the doctor can make better decisions — faster. ALZlog keeps everything in one place so nothing gets missed.

Why Adding This to Your Routine Helps

Once dementia progresses, your loved one may not be able to tell you they’re uncomfortable, bloated, or constipated. Tracking makes it easier to catch a problem when it’s small.

ALZlog helps you:

• stay organized

• avoid guessing

• keep other family members or helpers on the same page

• respond to changes before they become emergencies

It becomes part of your everyday rhythm — something quick, simple, and genuinely helpful.

The Bottom Line

Tracking bowel movements isn’t fun, but it is important. And ALZlog: THe Caregiver’s Notebook makes it doable. It takes a messy, stressful part of caregiving and turns it into something clear and manageable — so your loved one stays safer, and you feel more in control.

Conclusion: Navigating Dementia Poop Challenges with Care and Practical Solutions

Managing bowel issues in dementia care is tough — and honestly, it can feel overwhelming on some days. But when you understand why these problems happen and you have simple tools and routines in place, everything becomes a little more manageable.

A toileting schedule, a small go-bag of supplies, and knowing the common signs of constipation, diarrhea, or incontinence can save you so much stress. These aren’t just “care tasks” — they’re ways to protect your loved one’s comfort, dignity, and health. And they give you more confidence as the caregiver in charge.

The right tools make a big difference, too. Whether it’s using ALZlog to track bowel patterns or keeping notes to share with the doctor, staying proactive helps you catch problems early—before they turn into bigger issues. Small steps every day really do add up.

Most importantly, please remember this: you’re not doing anything wrong if you’re struggling. These challenges are a normal part of the dementia journey. Every caregiver who has walked this road has had moments of frustration, exhaustion, and worry. You’re in good company.

And you don’t have to go through it alone. By talking openly, sharing real-life experiences, and learning what works (and what doesn’t), we create a circle of support that makes this journey easier for everyone. Your honesty and your heart make a difference — not just for your loved one, but for the caregivers beside you.

You’re doing incredibly meaningful work, even on the messy days.

Wishing you strength, patience, and a little peace as you keep caring so beautifully. 🌼💛