The Truth about Reminiscing With Dementia

I had an uncle who loved telling his military stories. He was in the Navy during WWII. Even though it was a dangerous and scary time in his life, he often said life in the Navy on a ship was his favorite time. I don’t know if it was the camaraderie with others, travel, adventures, or simply the military life. But I have found many  veterans with Dementia Reminiscing feel this way. They loved their military life and love to talk about it, usually to anyone who will listen.

Every time he came over, I would listen to his stories. Even though I had heard the same story hundreds of times, I listened and laughed every time he would tell me how he accidentally dumped a jeep in the ocean backing off the ship. Of course, most of the rest of the family would walk away or remind him they already had heard that story, but I knew he needed to tell me that story again. His eyes would light up, and he would laugh. We connected every time he told that story.

What is Dementia Reminiscing? 

Reminiscing is simply talking about past experiences you remember with pleasure. For my uncle, talking about his Navy life was reminiscing. For others with Dementia reminiscing may be talking about similar favorite memories from earlier in life.

Some people with Dementia like to talk about their childhood or when they were young parents raising their children, especially women. Talking about their job history is another favorite topic they usually like to reminisce about with old co-workers or interested family members.

Why is Dementia Reminiscing so crucial for those with Dementia? 

 Unfortunately, as the disease progresses, they often stop initiating conversation. So reminiscing is a way to get them involved in discussions.

They may have difficulty discussing the present due to short-term memory loss or struggle to find the right words. 

Either reason can cause added stress to them. But, on the other hand, Dementia Reminiscing is comfortable ground for them. They know this story, and talking about it will help build their confidence. 

What are the different types of Dementia Reminiscing?

• Visual: looking at old photos or movies or even news clippings
• Aural:  listening to music, many people fail to realize the power of music for those with Dementia
• Taste: favorite foods from earlier memories, such as mom’s apple pie
• Tactile: touching something that brings back a memory
• Olfactory: smell is a powerful memory trigger; baking cookies may bring back favorite childhood memories

What are the benefits of Dementia Reminiscing?

Reminiscing with your loved one will help them feel connected to you. But, unfortunately, too often, the days revolving around caregiving and connecting with your loved one kind of falls by the wayside. 

When you rekindle your primary relationship instead of the caregiver one, whether you are a spouse, child, sibling, or friend, your loved one will have more joy. It will help deepen your bond and make them feel more wanted. It may even be how they think they are contributing to the family.

Reminder: Depression and Dementia go hand in hand. Dementia reminiscing is a great way to help fight off Dementia. 

What are good Dementia reminiscing questions?

Here is a list of 40 questions to help you reminisce with your loved one with Dementia. Depending on where they are in their Dementia Journey, some of these questions may be too hard for them. Choose what works best for your loved one. The goal is to get them talking about their lives to help them feel better.

Questions

1. What do you remember about the place you grew up?
2. Which invention from your life is your favorite?
3. What was your favorite movie when you were younger?
4. Do you have a favorite actor?
5. Do you have a favorite Actress?
6. Did you have a favorite book when you were little?
7. What was your first job?
8. What was your favorite job?
9. What do you remember about your parents and grandparents?
10. What did your grandparents and great-grandparents do for a living?
11. What were your children like growing up? 
12. What did you and your siblings do for fun?
13. How did you meet your spouse?
14. What is the best advice you would share?
15. What was the best day of your life? 
16. What are you the proudest of in your life?
17. What made you happy when you were little?
18. What did you want to be when you grew up? 
19. How would you like to be remembered?
20. Have you been to another country?
21. Favorite place you have been?
22. Were you in the military?
23. What is your earliest memory?
24. Did you ever have a hobby?
25. What chores did you have to do when you were growing up?
26. Did you receive an allowance as a child? 
27. Who were your friends when you were growing up?
28. What was your favorite thing to do for fun?
29. What was school like for you as a child? 
30. What school activities and sports did you participate in?
31. What was your first car?
32. What was your first pet?
33. What was your favorite toy?
34. Did you ever go to a sports game?
35. Did you ever see a live band?
36. Have you been to another country?
37. What is the silliest thing you have ever done?
38. Did you ever play an instrument?
39. What’s the fanciest event you’ve ever attended?
40. What is the funniest movie you ever saw?

It is often easiest to start the conversation by talking about something from your life and then guide a related question back to them. However, remember that while Dementia Reminiscing, you may stumble across painful memories that may provoke them. If this is the case, respond carefully and redirect them to a happier memory.

Reminiscing is about connecting with your loved one. So often, family members who don’t live with their loved ones with Dementia feel awkward trying to converse with them. So first, find common ground or a topic you know they like to discuss, and then sit back and listen. It doesn’t matter if you have heard the story ten times or 1000 times. You are listening because you care about them, and what’s best for them is for you to get them talking.

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